Handsome Dan News

May 3, 2015

Added several Motherfuckers shirts and a very rare Sheglank'd shirt to the store. Sizes are limited on these, so order quick!

March 26, 2015

Check out the Motherfuckers on their 2015 tour! The lovely and talented Shitface will be there to sell you a wide variety of Handsome Dan releases.

April 17, 2014

RELENTLESS has arrived!
The Motherfuckers celebrate their 15-year anniversary with their first release since 2008. Fifteen hot tracks on a 45 RPM 12".
Available now in the Handsome Dan web store.

April 6, 2014

The Vain Collapse / X-Ray Cat split 7" and the Motherfuckers "Relentless" LP are now available for pre-order!
Both will ship within the first two weeks of May.

Be sure to check out the Motherfuckers on their 2014 Canadian tour:

November 13, 2013

Now in stock: Spastic Panthers patches in 4 fantastic colors!
From now until the end of 2014 get one FREE with any purchase of $40 or more. Handsome Dan's Holiday gift to you!
We've got some exciting releases planned for 2014, including the Vain Collapse / X-Ray Cat split 7" and a new full-length LP from the Motherfuckers. Keep checking this space for all the details.

October 4, 2013

Slightly late on the yearly update, but here goes...
We've got some snazzy new Spastic Panthers shirts, available in a variety of sizes:
Quantities are limited, so buy now!

September 24, 2012

Two hot new Spastic Panthers shirts now available in the store!
We're also down to the last copies of the first Spastic Panthers EP, Rock n' Roll Beasts. Get 'em while you can!

August 4, 2011

The No Problem "Your Eyes" EP is back in print, this time on "orange crush" colored vinyl. Order your copy today!

Moby Dicks/Browns split 7" should be here any day now!

June 30, 2011

The Slates LP is now in stock, and we're accepting pre-orders for the Browns / Moby Dicks split 7", coming this August!
The first pressing of No Problem's "Your Eyes" EP is gone, but we plan to have a new pressing in stock for you very soon. The limited clear vinyl edition of the "Paranoid Times" EP is running out fast, so if you want one order now!
Also added some hot new Spastic Panthers t-shirts to the store.

April 16, 2011

This is a big week for Handsome Dan, with not one but TWO new releases!
The Spastic Panthers / Teenage Rampage split 7" and the Slates - Bunbun 7" are both available for pre-order now, and should be shipping by next weekend!
Calgarians can check out all three bands at Broken City on Thursday, April 21 with our good friends from Lethbridge, Stressed Out.
Edmontonians can catch the Spastic Panthers and Slates at New City on Friday, April 22nd. Also, keep your eye out for a TOP SECRET in-store appearance somewhere in Edmonton... We'll post clues as we get 'em!

March 28, 2011

Thanks to everyone who came out to see No Problem, Sheglank'd Shoulders and the Antisocial Club in Calgary and Edmonton this weekend. We all had a great time, sold a lot of records, and drank a lot of beer.
All pre-orders have now shipped for the No Problem "Paranoid Times" 7-inch.
If you want one of the limited clear pressings, the time to order is now! These won't be around much longer.
The Spastic Panthers / Teenage Rampage split and ultra-limited Slates 7" are on the way. Keep your eyes locked on this website for all the details!

Feb 20, 2011

After much complaining from our vice-president and A&R wizard Todd Harkness, I've revamped the website a little, and eliminated most of the pointless links and outdated information.
The "releases" page is gone. All your viewing, listening and ordering needs can now be satisfied in one place, on our new and improved store page. Look for new band bios and updated "press" section in the not-so-distant future.

Pre-orders for the No Problem "Paranoid Times" 7" are coming in fast and furious! Don't miss your chance to get the ultra-limited clear vinyl pressing. And don't forget, any order for two or more regularly priced Handsome Dan 7"s until the end of March will get you a free copy of the Sheglank'd Shoulders "Skate Assassin" flexi. What better time to stock up on Handsome Dan releases!?

Feb 17, 2011


It's shaping up to be a busy year for Handsome Dan! We've got two awesome new releases coming to you in March:
First, the long-awaited second EP from Edmonton's NO PROBLEM. "Paranoid Times" picks up where "Your Eyes" left off, and will leave you begging for more.
Fortunately, these guys have an LP coming out on Deranged Records this spring.
First 100 copies are on clear vinyl, available only through the Handsome Dan web store or the band.
Get your pre-order in NOW before it's too late.

Listen to Paranoid Times
We've also got a hot new flexi-disk release from the Sheglank'd Shoulders, just in time for their yearly reunion show. Two never-before-released skaterock anthems, with more sexy art from Pete "Nevarestin'" Navales.
As a special bonus, any order for two or more regular priced Handsome Dan 7"s in March wil receive a FREE copy of this ultra-limited release. Don't say Handsome Dan never did nothin' for ya!

Listen to Skate Assassin

As if that's not enough, we've got another great 7" coming in April, with 4 songs each from the Spastic Panthers (listen to (I don't believe in) Moderation) and a hot new Calgary harcore band called Teenage Rampage (listen to Not Enough).

Keep your eye out for more great Handsome Dan releases this year, including an ultra-limited 7" from Edmonton's SLATES, and a split 7" featuring Lethbridge garage punks THE MOBY DICKS and Calgary's balaclava-clad madmen THE BROWNS.

Nov 6, 2010


The last recorded output from this highly under-rated Calgary punk band! 16 tracks of blistering hardcore, reminiscent of Youth Brigade and the Dead Kennedys. Previously available only on a limited run of CDs, Handsome Dan is pleased to bring you this killer album on sexy blue vinyl, with all-new cover art and a free download card!
With members now scattered all around the world (well, Alberta and Saskatchewan), ASC aren't playing much these days, but they'll be throwing an LP-release bash with the Sheglank'd Shoulders in Calgary next March. Keep checking back here for all the details!
In the meantime, feast your eyes on this pixelated image, and order yourself up a couple copies!

In other news, the Spastic Panthers are heading back into the studio next month.
Look for a split 7" with another sweet Calgary band in early 2011.
We're almost totally sold out of the limited white vinyl pressing of the No Problem "Your Eyes" EP, so you'd better act quick if you want one! Look for the next No Problem EP ("Paranoid Times") in the very near future.

Sept 1, 2010


The No Problem records are in! Here's a crappy picture:

All pre-orders have shipped. Remember, the white vinyl version is limited to 100 copies, and is available only from the band or direct from Handsome Dan. Don't miss your chance to get one of these rare treasures!
Albertans can check out No Problem and the Spastic Panthers at these release shows:

Sept 11, 2010 - Avonmore Hall - Edmonton, AB
Oct 1, 2010 - Broken City - Calgary, AB

Like all Handsome Dan releaes, the record includes a free download card, so you can enjoy the tunes without ever having to play the record!

August 3, 2010


We got the test pressings for the No Problem "Your Eyes" EP today, and they sound KILLER
For those of you who may have missed it, No Problem are the hottest hardcore band to come out of Edmonton in years, featuring members of the Wednesday Night Heroes and Let's Dance.
"Your Eyes" will be available this September. Pre-order now to get the ULTRA-LIMITED white vinyl edition.
No Problem will be doing 7" release shows in Calgary, Edmonton and Lethbridge this fall (with their good friends, the Spastic Panthers). Keep checking here for the latest details!

April 21, 2010


Order yours now! First 300 on colored vinyl! What else can I say!?

February 7, 2010


The Panthers and the Throwaways have both been hard at work in the studio over the last couple weeks, and the results are AWESOME.
Look for the split 7" and a Spastic Panthers mini-tour this May. Sneak preview tracks coming soon!!!
This year's Sheglank'd Sewer Tour was a huge success. Thanks to everyone who came out.
Spastic Panthers t-shirts are now available from the Handsome Dan Web-Store. Buy!

January 7, 2010


It's a new year, and time for another Sheglank'd Shoulders "tour".
This year the Shoulders will be tearing up Calgary for two days. On Friday, January 29th, they'll be shredding Broken City with Rum Runner and the Throwaways, then they'll be ripping through Tubby Dog on the 30th for an all-ages beer-and-hot dog extravaganza featuring the Bloody Hells, the Tension Slips, and the New Krime.
Trust me, you don't want to miss either of these shows!!!

This may also be your last chance to get a copy of the "Endless Grind" CD. I have literally NINE of these left!
In other news, the Spastic Panthers will be heading back into the studio next month. Look for a split 7" with the Throwaways this spring!

July 23, 2009

ROCK N' ROLL BEASTS has arrived!

That's right, folks! The much-anticipated debut release from the Spastic Panthers is here at last!

From the ashes of Sheglank'd Shoulders, The Motherfuckers and Antisocial Club, Calgary's Spastic Panthers carry on the tradition of such legendary Canadian punk bands as SNFU, Personality Crisis and No Means No.

This is straight-ahead, no-frills, no-tough-guy, no-bullshit pure punk rock! Think Circle Jerks meets The Freeze meets early CH3.

8 ass-kicking anthems on a beautiful slab of 45 RPM wax. Here's a crappy picture:

Each record comes with a free download card from Transmit Vinyl, for all you "I don't own a record player!" types.
Click here to buy it NOW!
or check out some audio samples on our Myspace page if you insist on hearing it first.

March 18, 2009

Thanks to everyone who came out to the Sheglank'd Alberta shows last weekend. We had a blast, as always.
In between playing 3 shows, skating, and drinking an obscene amount of beer (OK - I made up the skating part, but we did talk about skating while we were drinking all those beers), we managed to record a couple killer new tracks. Look for the Hoosegow / Sheglank'd Shoulders split within the year.

A lot of people have been asking me about the long-lost Rum Runner / Blotto Boys "Tribute to the Pogues" 7-inch. Since I've got a few of them kicking around, I've made them available through the Handsome Dan webstore.
For those of you who don't know the story, this rare piece of Alberta punk history was released in 2003 on Pedestrian Records.
One side features Rum Runner, who still reign as one of Calgary's best-loved punk bands, in a very early 3-piece incarnation. The Rum Runner boys give masterful performances of "If I Should Fall From Grace With God" and "Streams of Whiskey", doing honor to the originals but still injecting that Rum Runner flair.
On the flip-side, we have the Blotto Boys, a short-lived Calgary supergroup featuring members of the Motherfuckers, No Coast Hardcore, The Riot Nrrds, and probably some others I'm forgetting. The Blotto Boys do "Boys from the County Hell" and "Transmetropolitan" in a stripped-down, sped-up, punk-as-fuck style. Other than a hidden track ("Beer in my Hand") on the Gudenpist "Dr Good and Mr Pist" CD (Gudenpist featured two members of the original Blotto Boys lineup), this is the only recorded output of this band.
All this on beautiful red vinyl in a meticulously photocopied sleeve. There aren't too many of these left, so snap 'em up while you can.

In other news, I'm now completely sold out of the first Motherfuckers CD "Classless Society". If you still need a copy, there are still a few available from interpunk.com

Feb 25, 2009

The Sheglank'd Shoulders will be doing three Alberta shows in March, and the Motherfuckers will be doing a mini-Alberta tour with Toronto's EndProgram in May. Keep checking the tour listings for details.

New releases coming this year: Sheglank'd Shoulders / Hoosegow split 7-inch, and a bone-shattering debut EP from Handsome Dan and the Spastic Panthers (featuring members of Sheglank'd Shoulders and the Anti-Social Club.)

Nov 2, 2008

Even more reviews...
Exlcaim Magazine - November 2008

Sheglank'd Shoulders - The Final Grind
By Ty Trumbull
The three songs contained on this seven-inch are powerful examples of ’80s skate punk filtered through more contemporary ears. While it’s easy to see the influences of the Adolescents and JFA, there is a modern sound that prevents The Final Grind from sounding like a throwback record. The lyrics to songs like “Energy Bomb” may seem a little puerile but the anger and energy more than make up for it. The strangest part about this disc is the final number, “I Don’t Like You,” which is a Screwdriver cover. The liner notes state: “all songs by Sheglank’d Shoulders except ‘I Don’t Like You’ (originally by some Nazi fuckheads)” and the label’s website points out the humour in a Jewish punk rocker singing a song originally by a white power band, so take that for what you will. The three tracks contain more speed, distortion and angst than most of the records coming out these days and that’s been something sorely missing from the punk rock landscape of late. These guys aren’t just rehashing the past, they’ve studied it, know it and play it with all the reckless abandon of four guys who actually love it.

Motherfuckers - I Wanna Be A cop... So I Can Fuck You Up
by Keith Carman

Motherfuckers easily pack so much attitude, crap and corruption onto one little slab of seven-inch vinyl that it’s scary. Yet again, the Calgary-based outfit tear through six pieces of crusty gutter punk, including “Living In Fear,” “Fish Fucking,” “Kill My Boss” and the title track with gusto. Still revelling in their D.R.I., Minor Threat and Misfits albums, yet more recently comparable to the likes of the Casualties, Krum Bums and other Mohican-sporting squeegee kids, these tasteless goons would make the Ripcordz and Dayglo Abortions wonder how some bands could be so disturbingly sullied.

Oct 23, 2008

More new reviews... some good, some not so good.

Skin, Brains & Guts issue #1 - October 2008

Sheglank'd Shoulders - The Final Grind 7"
This three-track 7" serves as Sheglank'd Shoulders' swan-song, the band breaking up last year due to Wolfgang T. Depression's leaving of town. Accurately self-proclaimed to be Calgary's Kings of Skate Rock, the band sounds totally inspired on this record, all songs kicking serious ass and made all the more exciting by a quality recording and a great layout. I was pleased to find that two of the three songs have awesome guitar solos as I always knew that Wolfgang could rip those if he wanted to. It was also nice to hear a cover of Skrewdriver's (diplomatically denoted as "some nazi fuckheads") "I Don't Like You" which Izzo and the Diabetics used to perform under the genius moniker, "Lorie Matheson's Cock." A true bright-spot of the Calgary Punk scene, and the pinnacle of Calgary's panther-core skate-oi scene, Sheglank'd's breakup is too bad, but The Final Grind serves as a satisfying epitaph

Mother Fuckers - I Want to Be A Cop... So I Can Fuck You Up!! 7"
My opinion of MOTHERFUCKERS releases had always been that every effort is better than the one that preceded it. 2002's If it Ain't Puke, It Ain't Punk was fun enough, but 2005's Classless Society was really quite enjoyable with some classic anthems ("Enduring Freedom" and "Punk Like Skabby" come to mind). The new songs on 2007's The Mother of All Fuckers were even better and now it's 2008 and I'm trying really hard to like I Want to be a Cop... So I Can Fuck You Up! It's impressive that they've squeezed six songs onto a 45 rpm 7" and I'm quite fond of the hilarious artwork and the puke-colored vinyl. I guess that the song "Kill My Boss" is okay and as always, Izzo's got one of the best punk-punk voices around. I assume that the lyrics are pretty funny as they usually are, but I can't pick very many of them out and there's no lyric sheet to help me out. In the end, if you equate fast punk with good punk and ask very little else, you'll like this 7" but I'd rather listen to anything else by the Motherfuckers.

Maximumrocknroll - issue 306 - November 2008

Snotty street punk'n' roll outta Calgary, Canada. Decent energy and drive on this disc. Two originals and a song by "Some Nazi fuckheads" as quoted on the lyric sheet. Funny you would call SKREWDRIVER "Nazi fuckheads" yet cover their song. (MS)

MOTHERFUCKERS - "I Wanna Be A Cop... So I can Fuck You Up!!" EP
Their label says they are Calgary's oldest and ugliest band, and with a cartoon of a cop ass searching a punk rock skater, what's not to like? Nothing special here, just meat 'n' taters bar punk. Six songs about being punk (I think, no lyrics) and living your life outside the rules, man. Fast and tight and almost street punk at times (the backing vocals give it that feel I think). File this one with BAR FEEDERS, PORTRAIT OF POVERTY, SUBMACHINE, and the like. (WN)

Oct 6, 2008

Check out these reviews from the latest Razorcake magazine:

I really hope the title of this single doesn’t signal the end of one of Canada’s best skate punk bands. Sheglank’d Shoulders bring three rockers to the party this time with the A-side being the title track to their last disc, and the flip side sporting another ode to energy drinks and a Skrewdriver cover. Now before you get your hackles, up I’ll quote the liner notes “All songs by Sheglank’d Shoulders except “I Don’t Like You” (originally by some Nazi fuckheads). Somehow the thought of a spastic, Jewish punk rocker singing this makes me smile. At any rate, I’ll be plenty pissed off if this is the final release from these guys.
–Ty Stranglehold

MOTHERFUCKERS, THE: I Wanna Be a Cop… So I Can Fuck You up!!: 7”
Here is a new slab of no-holds-barred punk rock out of Calgary. These guys come fast and angry and really make me want to smash things.
I can’t tell what is more disturbing: the cover drawing of the singer getting a cavity search by a cop or the B-side label drawing of said soiled rubber glove! The six tracks on this seven inch make a good soundtrack to any riot or skate session.
–Ty Stranglehold

Sept 5, 2008

I'll be on tour with the Motherfuckers from Sept 5 until Sept 20th. Any orders received during this time will be processed promptly upon my return.

June 15, 2008

The new 7"s are here, and all pre-orders have now been shipped.
Haven't ordered yet? What are you waiting for!?

June 1, 2008

We are now accepting pre-orders for the new Sheglank'd Shoulders and Motherfuckers 7"s.
The records should be shipping within the month.

May 17, 2008

The new 7-inches are almost here! Check out preview tracks in the Releases section.
The Motherfuckers have a new website - www.motherfuckerscalgary.com
sheglankd.com is coming soon!

January 31, 2008

It's only January, which means it's a little early for the yearly website update, but what the hell...
Look for new 7"s from the Motherfuckers and the Sheglank'd Shoulders this spring. Full details and audio samples coming soon!
I've also added some reviews and shit to the "Press" section. More coming sometime. Enjoy!

March 23, 2007

The Mother of All Fuckers has finally arrived! Available now in the Handsome Dan web-store.
18+ CD release at the Castle Pub, all-ages release TBA.

August 26, 2006

The Handsome Dan website is finally up.
Expect more content sometime this year, as soon as I get rid of my 200 viruses (virii?).
Anyway, the Sheglank'd Shoulders "Endless Grind" CD is out now. It's a joint release between Hit the Deck Records and Handsome Dan. Available direct from us, or via interpunk.com or Scratch Distribution
In other news, the Motherfuckers have been jamming again, with original bass player "Rowdy" Roger. Look for "The Mother of All Fuckers" this December, featuring 12 unreleased tracks, as well as the long out of print "If It Ain't Puke, It Ain't Punk" EP.